Monthly Muse

FT SILJA JANINA

Our Muse Silja Janina shares insights on struggling with years of low self-esteem & how her journey through somatic healing led her to becoming a female embodiment leader that supports other women in turning pain & trauma into empowerment, freedom & pleasure.

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WHERE ARE YOU FROM & WHERE ARE YOU BASED NOW?

I am from South Germany (Black Forest region) and currently live in Berlin most of the time. My partner and me are planning to move to Ibiza soon though - it's the land I want to raise our children. It's feels like my soul's home - maybe because I ́m a scorpio and Ibiza is said to have scorpio energy.

WHAT ARE YOU CREATING RIGHT NOW THAT YOU'RE MOST EXCITED ABOUT?

I have recently launched my Sex & Soul Membership in German and soon will launch it in English - that's very exciting for me! It was one of my dreams for such a long time to create a loving, supportive community of women who are on the same path, a taboo-free space to learn about sexuality, female empowerment and how to truly thrive as a woman. I want to break taboos and teach practices & long lost secrets to feel liberated and empowered in being a woman: owning who we are, connected to our bodies and our sexual power and living without pain or shame about bleeding, sex or any other magical part of womanhood!

WHAT'S THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?

"You can't force something into love." I tried to love myself for so many years through forcing myself to love me, and for judging myself for not loving me. I then once read this sentence and realized how I was blocking myself from true love: love doesn't force and love doesn't judge. I kind of had to learn - or rather remember - what loving truly means. And that made such a huge shift on how I related to myself and others - and it brought me actual, real self-love (and true love in my partnership as well).

WHAT'S ONE PIECE OF ADVICE YOU WOULD GIVE TO YOUR YOUNGER SELF?

My little girl - every challenge you ́re going through and every pain on your way is only a sacred doorway to your deeper truth and your sexual and spiritual awakening. On the other side of every difficulty, there is even deeper love, power and pleasure waiting for you. All the things you think you are struggling with will turn out to be gifts, and they will lead you to your purpose. You are always so protected and loved, even - especially - when it doesn't feel like it.

WHAT'S THE THING YOU'VE STRUGGLED WITH THE MOST ON YOUR JOURNEY TO WHERE YOU ARE NOW?

My sexuality and my self-worth. I had such low self esteem, I criticized everything about me and felt deep shame for all that I was. I experienced a myriad of physical and psychological symptoms for many years - from acne, chronic fatigue, many food intolerances to an anxiety disorder, depressive episodes and complete disconnection from and numbness of my body. I struggled with toxic relationships, money, being happy and knowing my path. It was really painful to be me for some years.

WHAT'S HELPED YOU TO NAVIGATE AND OVERCOME IT?

I tried loving affirmations, meditation, yoga & eating super healthy but it didn't really do much. Then through some synchronicities, I found somatic work, trauma release & healing through self pleasure & sexual energy. THAT was the golden key for me. I found out that sexual (and other) trauma was the root cause of all that I experienced. For the first time I understood it was not my fault that I suffered all these things, it was just my body and soul ́s reaction to trauma. And only through going deep into my body, deep into my subconscious & addressing my sexuality as well, I was able to truly heal (from ALL that I mentioned). I discovered Tantra, Taoism, somatic work, hypnosis, embodiment & ritual work, modern trauma healing techniques and practices that truly helped me transform on a body and energetic level (where the trauma was stuck). And now this is exactly what I teach other women and what my work is all about: turning pain, stuckness & trauma into empowerment, freedom & pleasure.

WHAT'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT NOT MANY PEOPLE WOULD KNOW

That I’ve studied Psychology & Anthropology, and have a Master of Science degree in Medical Anthropology - for my master thesis, I conducted research on the (healing) effects of plant medicine on one’s sense of self. And that I love hard & dark techno and raving in dark, sweaty Berlin clubs for hours. There's nothing that connects me with my wild, primal side as dancing to this music. It speaks to a very ancient part of me - it feels deeply ritualistic and cleansing. Good, deep techno has the same effect on me like shamanic drumming. So besides my "lighter" soft side, I also enjoy diving into these spaces every now and then.

WHAT'S SOMETHING YOU COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT?

My man and slow mornings - currently with chai and watching birds outside my window.

HOW HAS WEARING ROYAL CODES CONTRIBUTED TO YOUR JOURNEY? HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU WEAR YOUR CODES?

Royal Codes has really helped me to embody and own all the different flavors of the feminine that I have within me. I feel so empowered wearing them, like as if the clothes remind me of my strength, feminine power and unique beauty whenever I wear them. That's also the reason they are what I wear when I give retreats or hold ceremonies. When I have moments of doubts or fear, Royal Codes is like an instant reminder of: remember who the f you are! And the beautiful thing is - this energy passes on to the women around me. I also love the variety of colors and styles - I can embody my seductress, my tantrika, my dark goddess, my priestess, my warrior woman, my medicine woman - depending on which set I wear. They activate this ancient knowledge that we are inherently worthy, that we are all uniquely beauty in our own way, and that we have this feminine power within us.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE ROYAL CODES PIECES?

So hard to choose - the Artemis Top, the Cleopatra skirt and the Aurora dress I would say. If I could only wear those three items the rest of my life, I'd be happy (glad to have more choice though haha!)

WHAT SOUNDTRACK WOULD YOU PICK FOR YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW?

The Song of the Butterfly - Estas Tonne

" On the other side of every difficulty, there is even deeper love, power and pleasure waiting for you. All the things you think you are struggling with will turn out to be gifts, and they will lead you to your purpose. "

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All photo credits to @nectar.of.flow